Sunday, February 24, 2013

waffles and burnt bacon

Happy Sunday morning! I'm noshing - and there's the chirp [it chirps when it's done] - on burnt bacon and waiting for the last of the waffles to cook. Every once in a while, if I get moving, I'll make waffles on this waffle iron. It wasn't exactly a  birthday present - the only appliance I'd really be happy with on my birthday is a screaming metallic pink Kitchenaid pro [that's the one with the ridiculous motor no one really needs] with all the extra attachments, whistles and bells. Has to be metallic pink. Red will not do. [Screaming green or turquoise or flaming metallic purple would be acceptable alternatives]. It's like picking out a car...

Waffles. So I was maybe six? Or seven? [Essentially, the age I am working with now :)] and I had this insane affinity for pancakes. And my mother hated making pancakes. But she loved me, so she did it anyway. Occasionally. My father was working in the jewellery department of a large store at the time, and it so happened that, being the awesome salesman he was, he received the bonus awards, usually on a monthly basis, and it was usually a gift certificate for the store. And around that time of year - this time of year- they had these waffle makers. And my mother hated making pancakes, and this gift certificate was burning a hole in their pockets...

But you DO NOT get a woman, of any age, an appliance for her birthday. UNLESS it's a screaming metallic pink Kitchenaid Pro with all the extra attachments, whistles and bells [Screaming metallic green or turquoise or flaming metallic purple would be acceptable alternatives] - and she's SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU THIS, because she's tired of mixing baked goods by hand with a wooden spoon.

Moral of the story? I did not get the waffle iron for my birthday - don't ask me what I actually got, probably a My Little Pony [which I likely still have], among other things - but we did have heart shaped waffles. For breakfast. Or dinner. Anyway, there were, and have been, heart shaped waffles. What's really amazing is that this thing is still kicking. Proof that they don't make 'em like they used to.

The bacon is gone. And my waffles are cold. Bon app├ętit.

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