It's unusual not to have a service, of any kind, when there is a death. But that's what Grandpa wanted. He was part of a VFW post that would do funeral details in all kinds of weather, and didn't want us standing in a blizzard, burying what he referred to as his nonessentials in the frozen ground after we dug through three feet of snow to find his marker. And please, he said. Don't let the guys stand out there. I don't want them out there. Having stood in driving rain, snow and scorching sun, I can't blame him. Except that I think the detail guys would personally resurrect him and beat him up if they were refused. So we're waiting for the summer, when hopefully, the weather is cooperative, and not scorching hot. One can hope.
A very good friend of mine was asking about what arrangements we had set up, and when I explained the situation, he said it was probably hard, having the expected time off but not really having a break, and not having the closure that a memorial service can bring.
He hit that nail on the head.
This mess feels like it's finally starting to level out. I may still be bouncing, but the high isn't as high and hitting the bottom doesn't hurt like it did before.
Pot roast came to my door tonight. With mini red velvet cupcakes and a loaf of bread. Pot roast is, quite possibly, one of my favorite things [and this one is amazing]. I don't like steak. I like pot roast. [Also this awesome Thai coconut soup that I don't know what the name of it is, that is served at Nicky's Thai Kitchen on the North Side.] The bread is itself a small miracle, since I've been to the store twice this week and forgot a loaf of bread both times. And the cupcakes are perfect. They're just the perfect size. I did not ask for the pot roast. Pot roast came to me. Words cannot express how excited I am over this trifecta of foodstuffs. Who brings you your favorite and what you need without asking or knowing? How does that work out?
Was observed today by the principal. The kids were fabulous, just like I knew they would be; the lesson, I think, went very well. I have seldom worried about them; they never cease to surprise me with what they can do. I can count on one hand the times I was truly concerned that something would be really amis. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared. Today's adrenaline wore off alas, in the middle of the drive home on the parkway. Not good timing. Thank God for pot roast.